Most of us use Facebook, so you are likely familiar with the relationship status option "It's Complicated." These days I feel as though I could label all of my relationships "complicated."
It's not them, it's me.
As I've started writing and sharing my inner soul with the world and reading all about the lives of other people, I've had some rather strange epiphanies. The most ground breaking is that I am not sure I am who I think I am, which makes me question if the other people in my life really know me?
When I see myself as I believe others see me, I picture myself as I looked back in the best years. In my mid to late 20s. I was in shape, confident, felt great. That is the image I carry. Until I see a recent photograph. Then I realize I am FAR from that youthful, energetic girl. I've got puffy bags under my eyes, I'm overweight, my hair looks like crap, my clothes are out of style, and no one is confusing me for a mid 20s something. And yet, I'm surprisingly comfortable in my own skin, until reality and fiction collide.
Is this the way my relationships are as well? A memory of better days? A different person at a different time that is not an accurate reflection of today's reality? Am I holding on to an image of something that just is not there anymore? Is that perhaps why I sometimes feel so lonely?
This isn't the case with all of my relationships. Some have truly blossomed over the years, some have remained tried and true, but others are just there because it's easier to remember the better years than it is to admit it's over and let them go.
To further complicate all of life, as a blogger, I've added a third "me" to the mix. My blogging persona. Some days she is real, and others she is darn near a figment of pure fiction, lost in a world of hopes and dreams.
Do any other bloggers find their worlds more complicated since beginning this writing journey?