Our big, brown eyes locked.
Fast paced heart was about to jump out of his drooling mouth. Every breathe was sharp and heavy. Stressful fear had taken over. I could not reach to stop explosion. Part of him I never wanted to see, but did when we visited vets office.
This is the only time and place where fear paralyzed happy-go-lucky pup. Shaking air out of his lungs with speed of racing car. Joyous character perished in thin air. Nobody took notice of my continuous pleas to get over with it fast. It was like they where from another planet and I spoke different language.
Oh how I loathe times like these. Inner beast screams of injustice and wants to break their ignorant necks as they drag their feet. Furious blood-lust of a mother when she hears her cub crying beats in my human interior. Heart chokes under rivers of tears. Papers are signed without looking. Sentences are short to discourage any conversations. Terror in slow motion. Hopelessness to ease his suffering immediately.
I cling to logic with all my might. But I feel how the beast paces and growls, spits and scratches. His well-being is at stake if I break loose. Have to stay sober, have to be in control. Stay still. Breathe. Breathe.
As I smile at him, I see nothing else but my precious angel. We are pressured under circumstances to be on this planet we crave to leave. We just want to go home. We want to be free of them who supposedly have to help us but threw us in dungeons of misery. We loathe their disgusting time management. We are one that they will never be or understand. They from the planet we loathe the most – vets office.